Despite most believing external factors induce stress, studies indicate that a lot of it is self-inflicted. In other words, thinking about stress makes you more stressed. It’s important to pay attention to yourself to ensure you’re never overwhelmed. Spending time on self-care may seem unnecessary right now, but it can help you develop good habits that will improve your health in the long run. There are multiple ways you can do this, and this article will go over a few.
Tip #1: Beware of Expectations
One of the largest contributors to stress is having high expectations of yourself and others. When you satisfy these expectations, there isn’t much satisfaction because it’s what you anticipated. When you don’t fulfill them, you become disappointed in yourself. It’s perfectly normal to be sad when you don’t meet your expectations, but fixating your thoughts on a presentation that went poorly or a game you lost will hurt your mental health.
However, there are multiple ways to change this mindset. One practice is to define a goal you hope to achieve. Don’t make it too important, but also don’t picture a minimal goal otherwise, there’ll be no effect of this exercise. The next step is to visualize yourself not meeting that target. Make sure you’re visualizing it as reality and not imagination. You can even ask some friends to help you make the situation more authentic. You need to genuinely believe you’ll be okay even if you haven’t met the goal. Think of the bigger picture and that your world won’t collapse if you can’t accomplish this one thing.
Whether or not you achieve your target, you should be alright with the result. You’ll soon adapt to disappointment and won’t feel so bad each time you miss a goal.
This practice might seem pessimistic, but lowering your expectations one step at a time will help you endure the difficult emotions paired with falling short of expectations. Since doing this exercise consistently can completely numb you to failure, practice this in cycles if you notice your expectations rising again after a period without the practice. 1 month on and 2-3 months off is generally a good starting point. Some may not even need the cycle, and 1-2 months of practice will suffice.
Tip #2: Morning Mindset
As cliché as it sounds, making a list of things you’re looking forward to in the day can reduce considerable stress. These could be as small as eating lunch with your friends or playing a game with a family member. Although you might be tempted to type out the list on a device to carry around, write it down using pen and paper. Writing requires your brain to process the information and reproduce it in a way that you understand, enhancing your memory of the topic. It takes longer to write than to type, and keeping up with a steady stream of concepts means shortening what you hear or see, putting the information through multiple levels of processing. On the other hand, typing can be simply copied as you listen to something, and your brain won’t process it as much.
Whenever you’re feeling down, pull out the list and think of the little time left until you experience the next item on it, just like you would keep looking at a clock in your last class while waiting for school to be over. Play up the pros of each of these events and trick yourself into thinking they are a major part of your day, even if they might not be.
As an alternative, you can create the list at the end of the day, reflecting upon what you liked about each event. Either way, focusing on the good will decrease anxiety and help you get through tough days.
Tip #3: Spread Positivity
Now that you know a few tips to help yourself, the next step is to help others. It’s been scientifically proven that philanthropy at any scale can boost your mood. A simple thank you note or compliment are great ways to start. Get a friend a candy bar or help your parents with the dishes. It’s the small things that matter to people the most.
Don’t keep giving things to the same people every day as they can end up expecting you to cheer them up (and we all know how having high expectations ends up). Instead, scatter it around, doing one thing each day, from family to classmates to friends outside of school.
Adjusting your mindset to better your mental health is definitely challenging. Implementing some of these methods may seem intimidating at first, but with practice, they get easier and more effective. The benefits of stable mental health and reduced stress are worth the challenge, and slowly working towards this lifestyle will prove beneficial for the rest of your life..
tl;dr
Having a self-sabotaging mindset can often lead to loads of extra stress on your shoulders. However, there are many ways you can adjust your attitude to reduce that anxiety. One is by picturing yourself not accomplishing a goal. Although this might seem negative, when done in moderation, it can lower expectations you have for yourself or others, thus relieving stress. You can also make a list of things you’re looking forward to each day or make others feel better by complimenting or hanging out with them. Whichever way you choose (and these are by no means mutually exclusive), the courage you have to admit that your mindset needs to be altered is what will drive you to success on this journey.
